How to Avoid Misunderstandings in Communication

But we rarely ask ourselves how we communicate our ideas, thoughts, suggestions, and even feelings. It often happens to us that we omit the most important part of the conversation when agreeing on certain tasks, projects, employments or promotions. It is a conversation about the expectations and purpose of doing a certain job. It seems to us that we never have enough time or we think that it goes without saying. Something that was not dealt with will come back to bite you later on in the form of delays in fulfilling tasks, financial consequences, strained business relationships, and what often happens is that highly competent employees leave us because they are not satisfied.

Thinking something was implied or assuming is one of the most detrimental things for the quality of communication. We forget that each one of us has our own perceptual filters and that we might sometimes use the same term, but mean and understand very different things. For example, when you tell someone that something needs to be done urgently, you may think that “urgent” means that a task should be completed within an hour, and to someone that same term may mean a few hours. If such things can lead to a misunderstanding, imagine the possibilities of understanding when we introduce our expectations into the communication equation! And that is why talking about it is not only necessary, but also a wise business move.

In psychology, there is a term called confirmation bias, and it refers to the tendency of the mind to choose data that confirms our predictions and expectations, while at the same time ignoring data that show the opposite. This speaks in favour of the fact that perception is not based only on logical reasoning.

Perception is primarily woven from our experiences, values and beliefs, personality traits, and is subject to our current mood. We don’t perceive only spoken words. Quite the contrary, the non-verbal part of communication, that is, the way something is said, affects our reaction, as well as future behaviour, the most. Therefore, it is first necessary to better investigate how a person perceives messages. The best technique for this is to ask questions that check how our message was received. Ask your interlocutor to repeat in their own words how they understood what you conveyed to him. That way, you will get to know the way your interlocutor perceives what is communicated, which will allow you to better customise your messages. And as Stephen Covey, one of the world’s leading authorities in the field of leadership and organizational culture, would say: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

And what else should we talk about to avoid these pitfalls?

When you and your team are arranging the implementation of a new project, after sharing all operational information, also discuss how competent the person feels to perform a particular task and how motivated they are to do so. This will give you an insight into whether they need extra support. Then present your vision of the project implementation and explain the purpose and benefits that the project will have with regard to improving the business operations. By communicating the purpose, we better connect with work tasks and become aware of our own contribution to the business.

Use these three questions to do a brief check:

1. 1. Did I communicate to the interlocutor what is expected of them and check that they understood my expectations?
       
   2. Did I let my interlocutor know what they can expect from me and check what they need to do the task according to our agreement?
       
   3. Did I explain to the interlocutor what the purpose of the task is and invite them to contribute their insights?
       

Leading an effective conversation about the expectations, competencies, motivation and purpose of performing certain tasks is a communication skill that is learned, and its result is an increase in efficiency and productivity and the development of a healthier business environment.